In The Event of Drowning
by darlingmess
Summary: The more you struggle the quicker you fall. (warnings: suicide attempt, behaviour that can be viewed as abusive)


Standard Disclaimer Apply

In the Event of Drowning

--

"Are you hungry?" Dick asked softly, his voice despondent.

When he received no answer he walked away passed the breakfast bench and into the open kitchen. Kori sighed, and moved her legs so that her knees were pressed to her chest curling in on herself. She pressed her head to the frosty window; she shivered, winter in a cabin on the French Alps got very cold, very fast. Blinking she looked out, just before her was the river and to the left of that was the forest. She tugged on her long sleeved v neck purple sweater, pulling the sleeves over her hands. Putting one of her hands against the glass she allowed the day's events to catch up with her.

_--_

_Sunlight filtered through the __Cypress Tree__, its rays catching on the bare branches. The snow along the ground was soft, crisp, freshly lain, two pairs of foot prints could be seen, one large, manly, the other small delicate, feminine. Voices could be heard, the wind carrying them, fading the words into haunting whispers. _

"_Do you have any idea where you are?" The man said, his voice raising with anger, his gloved hands balled into tight fists, his face was screwed and red, marring his good looks. He raised one hand, uncurling it to point at his companion. The woman. _

"_Please Richard I-" She started, her voice soft, unsure. _

"_Dammit Kori, you don't bloody think do you? You go off, and don't tell me where the fuc-" _

_Kori gasped, she had never liked it when he swore. Richard glared at her, his gaze seeming to pierce her soul, making her weak kneed, he was always patient with her, gentle, kind. He thrust a hand through his short black hair, upsetting his spikes; he paced in a wide circle stopping just behind her. He spoke again his voice cold, unfeeling. _

"_I asked you not to go out alone," his tone patronising, "explaining that we're on vacation, and that anything could happen, are you trying to get yourself killed!" He continued his voice becoming a mumble as he ran a hand down his face. _

_Trying again Kori said, "I am sorry Rich-" _

"_Don't even talk to me, don't fucking speak to me." He spun her around harshly by the shoulders. Turning her to face him, looking into her eyes he saw they were wet with tears, muting their vibrant emerald colour. Still at the sight of this his face held no compassion. Just the livid anger he was so good at displaying. _

_Make no mistake he was not abusive, physically nor mentally, emotionally maybe, but he just had the tendency to act first think later. Or at least that is what Kori told herself at night, after hours of walking around as if on eggshells, fearful of his next outburst. But sooner or later he would come to her looking sad and regretful, making empty promises, she could never refuse. _

_A low animalistic growl escaped Richard's throat, bringing Kori out of her musing. He dropped his hands form her shoulders, ghosting them down to her arms before clamping them down on her wrists, the sleeves of her soft pink jacket wrinkling. He dragged her toward him crushing her hands to his chest, soft specks of snow melting on his black jacket. Kori opened her mouth. Richard growled again, his blue eyes narrowing menacingly. _

"_Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I come out of the bath room looking for you. Then after searching the entire bloody cabin, and not finding you anywhere, I nearly have a heart attack! Thinking something had terrible had happened. But to find you -what-, playing in the snow out here, so fucking far from the cabin! God." _

_Tears fell freely now at his outburst, he saw and made no move to calm her. His eyes still livid, enrage. She struggled against him, her hands making pawing motions at his chest. She is whimpering now, begging him with her eyes. His blue eyes stare down at her still cold, unfeeling. _

"_Please Richard let me go, I am sorry" _

_Snarling he brought her closer to him, leaning down slightly so his mouth hovered by her ear he said. "And I thought you learned you lesson." As the words left his mouth, he felt uneasy. His eyes widen, his mouth opening in shock, he had said too much._

_Kori gasped, as if he had struck her and with renewed strength she tore away from him, "You promised you would never speak of that again. Richard you gave your word!" She whispered her head shaking minutely, her hands drawing to her chest. _

_He was frowning now the weight of what he had said fell upon him, crushing, causing his knees to be weak, he swayed, his hands reaching for her. At this she filtered away; and put a metres distance between them. "Kori no," his voice was quiet, weak. Turning she walked away, swaying on her feet as she moved through the trees. _

"_Please don't walk away from me Kori, please" he begged desperate for her acknowledgement. She ignored him, at a tree some distance from him she paused, pressing her hand against its trunk saying, "I wish to go back to the cabin" her words were carried by the wind. _

--

"Here you go." Came Richard's voice softly, he placed a bowl of soup on a table next to the window ledge she was perched upon. When she had not answered him he sighed, running a hand through his hair, he gazed at her sadly, his stomach clenching painfully at her silence. He turned on his heel and walked away back into the kitchen. A short while later he returned with another bowl, he looked at her again and then looked at the bowl of untouched soup.

"Please eat something, Kori."

No answer.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never mean to hurt you. I should have just kept my mouth shut."

"Yes, you should have." Said a broken voice.

Richard hung his head, his eyes downcast. Bending he made to sit at her feet, he placed the bowl in his hands down on the wooden floor, before moving into a cross legged position on the floor facing her. He pressing his head against her thigh, she hiccupped softly, other than that no other noise was heard as they regarded each other in silence. The pain was intense; it burned her heart, to the very depths of her soul. The sensations still fresh, burned into her memory like a farmer branding cattle, a scar, one which would never fade with time.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Richard brought his hand up. Placing it against her thigh, he ran it across the length of her dark blue jeans, her warm radiating through. Above him Kori whimpered he quickly drew his hand back, as if burned. He hurt her; he knew that now, carelessly dragging up her past like a decayed carcass, opening still healing wounds, then he had to pour salt on it. He was a bastard, he felt sick to his stomach. A good boyfriend should help her mend, not lessen her progress. She had been doing so well, smiling, laughing, finally getting better, but no, he let his anger get the better of him, again.

Pushing off the floor Richard got up. Standing to his full height, six foot, he began to pace. Around the open plan living room, once, twice around the brown leather sofa, glass coffee table, littered with travel and tourist destination magazines. He finally stopped at the fire place, captivated by its amber flames, soon he tired of that. He looked heaven ward, only viewing the wood panelled ceiling of the cabin. He twisted his neck, a bitter feeling in his stomach, making his nauseous. He caught sight of a painting, above the fireplace; it showed the forest itself, shadows cast about it, laminated by the ghostly moon. He smiled.

"I wish to go outside. I-I will not be long." Kori said suddenly breaking the fragile silence.

"Oh... You haven't touched your soup." Richard said, inadequately, desperate for her to stay indoors. Things between them could be fixed, would be fixed, he knew it.

"I fear I am not hungry. I only wish to go out for a little while." With that she went to the coat hanger, and pulled of her soft pink jacket and white scarf, she opened the door, the cold winds assaulting her, she tensed slightly, before bracing herself. Richard watched as the door closed seeing through the window her figure retreating down the steps to the wooden dock, which connected them to the forest bed. He cursed loudly, yelling, screaming, he felt powerless, weak, and he hated it.

--

Outside, the cold was slowly but surely getting to Kori, her jacket and scarf only doing so much to keep the bite out. She was stood on the dock, staring out into the icy waters. A thin layer of ice covered the waters, distorting the images of the occasional fish swimming by. It was mid day, around noon, and the sky was gloomy as ever, ominous grey clouds fat with rain hung over head. The sun rarely peaked out, choosing to gift the land dwellers with its warming rays. It did nothing to warm Kori's heart. She whimpered, she loved Richard that much was obvious. But if he loved her as he claimed he did why would he do such callous things?

If she thought about it hard enough, she could still feel him. She remembered that day with terrifying clarity. The warm summer's evening; the sun had just set, giving everything a tinted red glow. She remembered the ally way that man had dragged her into, the stench of urine and how it clung to the air. He remembered his hands, tight against her mouth, muffling her screams, pleas, her desperate begging. Then she remembered when he pushed her up against the wall, his knee rammed between her legs. That movement hurt, no should touch her like that except her Richard. Where was he? She remembered his vile, ugly words. And his hands, how they drifted across her body, her breast, stomach, thighs. She felt violated. But then she could remember hearing a dull thud, as the bulky man it the ground, blood oozing form the cut on his head. Then she remembered hands softer this time, a kind, sad voice accompanying them, her Richard, and then a jacket being wrapped around her shoulders. She could still fell her Richard bundling her up in his arms as he carried her in a bridal fashion, and splashes of wetness on her crown of her head, as he stood silently, awaiting the police. But then after twenty minutes of silence only broken by the blaring sirens of police cars, darkness finally came.

Kori took at step forward, then another and another, until her tips of her pointed black suede ankle high boots was over shadowing the end of the dock. She wrapped her hands about herself, pulling her jacket tighter, she moved to brush her vermillion coloured hair away from her eyes, she gave a small jumps, startled by the sudden wetness around her eyes. Again Kori whimper, scrubbing madly at her eyes and then her nose, which was red and raw form the wind. "Why?" she mumbled to herself, why all the pain, suffering, "Please _X'hal_ make it stop." She mumbled into the wind.

Ideas, images flashed into her head, complete peace was only a stone's throw away, it could finally be over, although there would be pain, blinding pain, and guilt, but only for a moment. Kori shook her head, never before had she thought of suicide, pathetic, cowardly, ludicrous. And could she really leave her Richard, her friends, Rachael, Garfield, Victor, and Karen? Could she leave them all? No. She would hang on, but the thought of peace, was all to alluring, to be able to forget the figures, monsters, which haunted her mind.

Kori shuffled closer to the edge.

Two arms snaked themselves around her waist and hung on, she tense, until she recognised to feel of the person behind her. "I had said I would only be a moment." The man behind her grumbled, a small smile worked its way across Kori's mouth. The arms pulled her from the edge, bringing her to a warm chest. A soft cold nose nuzzled the back of her neck, warm breath puffed against her cheek.

"Are you still mad at me?" came the soft now unusually humble voice of Richard. Kori nodded her head; he pulled her closer to him, crushing her back to his chest tighter.

"What can I do to make it better? I'll do anything Kor," he pleaded, his hand clenching at her stomach, "just name it."

"You will do this again, I know you will. You will say mean words and then regret them. I do not know how much more I can take." Kori said solemnly, behind her she heard him gasp; he went impossibly cold, his grip on her stomach loosening.

Richard felt winded, sore as if punched. No, no, she couldn't mean this, she couldn't leave him, sure he could be an ass, but he loved her so fiercely it hurt, he loved her with a blinding passion, surely she knew that, but when he felt her wriggling out of his embrace he felt sick, empty, and alone in an endless black void.

"You want to-to break up." He said with a shaky breath, before he let his hands slip from her waist to hang by his sides, listless. "Okay, okay..." he whispered choking down tears, his voice devoid of emotion, "I'm a jerk, and... and you do deserve better, I just want you to know, I love you and if you ever need me I'm here. I'll-"

"Please Richard, you have misunderstood. I wish not to do the breaking up, but to change, adjust, become better. No one is better for me than you."

At this Richard looked up from staring at the wooden panels to her face, only just noticing she had turned around. He smiled shakily, and raised a hand towards her placing it on her cheek, stroking it with his thumb. Kori took a step towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her head into his chest. "Do you forgive me now?" he asked once he had stood with her, in silence, his arms around her small waist, rubbing her back for a while.

"It is easier to forget than to forgive Richard." She said, her throat constricting, "But I will try."


End file.
